He’s my favorite killer cowboy,
John, John, John Wayne.
He’s the best machine gunner,
John, go to the John Wayne.

You just never know
who he’s gonna knock off next.
Massacre the entire Indian Nation,
burn a baby communist.
He’ll blow away your brother,
slice off your mother’s breast.

He’s John, John, John Wayne,
a helluva person.
John, John, John Wayne,
a real nice guy.
John, John, John Wayne,
He is your neighbor.

He’s my favorite killer cowboy,
John, John, John Wayne.
Medal wearin’ sharp shooter,
John, go to the John Wayne.

You just never know
whose head he’s gonna lop off next.
Lizzy Borden was his teacher.
He sure did learn the text.
He’ll carve your turkey with his hands,
watch out, he’ll carve you next.

He’s John, John, John Wayne,
watch out for low blows.
John, John, John Wayne,
and flying elbows.
John, John, John Wayne,
He is your neighbor.

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